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1994-03-14
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Huh, ~KICK IT~
SO MORTAL!
You doubt my sanity do you!? HA HA, well I laugh at your doubts, if
the government and their 'Quacks' couldn't prove I was insane how do
you expect to do it. (NO..Please Not the rubber ducks; NOT THE RUBBER
DUCKSSSss!)
...It's okay, I'm calm, not dangerous at all, oh no! and I have my
voices to tell me that nice voices, yes I love my meat cleaver yes,
yes... I do. Do you know, I used think I was schizophrenic, now I'm
in two minds about it! I'll tell you why.
As Einstein concluded, time and space are relative to the observers
movements and position in both. In theory he believed, time tells
space how to curve and in turn, space tells time how to move. HE WAS
WRONG!!!!
The space time time continuium is not mearly curved by the
expondential elements of theoretical numbers OH NO!, but is in fact
totally smegging warped. (Not unlike my good self!)
Sorry I'm drivelling, too much illusion. You do know reality is an
illusion caused by lack of alcohol don't you?
Ah those recreational pharmacuticals are kicking in, I'll be alright
in a moment or twelve.
Here we go calm now, calmmmmm. I only have one question:
"If brains were cotton wool, could Norman Lamont make a tampon for a
canary?" I'll guess we'll never know the answer to that one.
S'okay now, S'okay, I'm back to normal, or at least what passes for
normal around here. Normality is more of an abject concept her in
Birmingham. Any city where the birds morning chorus is a cacophony of
hacking coughs is bound by other laws than norm.
Anyway, how's life in Walsall, (I always thought that was in Poland.
Still you live and learn eh.) By the way sorry to disagree with you,
(No your not. Yes I am. Your not! shush he'll hear! Now where was I,
oh yes.) But the pink fluffy ones are not the best, the white fluffy
one are tighter, and squeal more. (Or are we talking about something
different?) ..Or so I've heard, Oh by the way my girlfriend sends
her regards, or at least that's what I think BAHH BAHHH means. Adds
a whole new meaning to the words ram raiders, don't you think? (You
fool you've done it again! Sorry.)
Just pulling your leg, and from Birmingham to Walsall I must have
long arms, God I'm sorry, bypassed my humour chip and went straight
into Russ Abbott mode, nasty that, I must get something done about it.
@3 You'll notice I have dropped the prices for readers of ZAM to £1.00 per disk inc P&P. Which I think you'll agree makes us one of
cheapest libraries in Britain.
I'll leave you with these simple thoughts.
1) If girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, why do
they smell of fish?
2) Never eat yellow snow.
3) Love thy neighbour, but use thy condom!
4) Never replace your mouse ball with a well sucked gobstopper.
5) What ever happened to Danger mouse?
6) Ugly women are best. (No matter how lousy you are in bed they're
always grateful!)
7) Any day you can worry a norm, upset a crossing lady, or show a PC
user up has not been completely wasted!
8) Jesus saves, but Moses scores on the rebound!
9) If you leave your sandwiches in a Skoda does it become a Lada?
10) Rincewind for Archmage, Arthur Dent for president of the universe,
Rimmer for Smeghead of the year, and me next for the VODKA!
CIAO Earthling
Bob Powell, (A.K.A. The Masked Artist.)
COMPUTER & DESIGN SERVICES.
DEPT PD,
24, BLACKMOOR CROFT,
TILE CROSS,
BIRMINGHAM,
B33 OPE.
Ex. of the 2nd city Wrecking crew, Ex. of the Darkling Lords
appreciation society, Ex. of the believers in the reconcilation. Ex.
marks the spot. (As indeed does clearasil.)
A LITTLE NOTE FROM GEARS !
--------------------------
To prove that you are a ZAM reader, you'll have to say "ZAM, ZAM, it's
better than JAM !" This is to stop those sad people who don't read this
mag from taking up the wonderful 1 quid a disk offer from Computer and
Design Services. If you do read ZAM and you get it the second it's
released, just write down that catch-phrase when you order from Bob
at C+DS ! Hokay !?
I must also use this space to say "GET THE AMIGA USER GROUP
INTERNATIONAL REGISTER !!!!" from C+DS ! It lists the hottest groups
around and it's mega-sponastical value-for-money !
Okay clever people, I know that the catchphrase can be spread about
faster than a cracked game ! If you're a REAL ZAM reader, you wouldn't
dream of doing such a thing !!